a million thanks and an update!

Monday, September 12, 2016

So, we finally put our story out there!!  Wooooootttt!!! Let me tell you, even though lots of people already knew what we were going through, it was freaking scary hitting that publish button and having it all out there for the whole wide world to see.  When I wrote that post shortly after our first failed IVF process, we were so so completely heartbroken and I was very emotional.  I knew that sharing our story and being so vulnerable meant opening up to the good as well as the bad, and anytime you do that, it's super scary.

But despite all that, we are so happy that it's finally all out there and that we don't have to hide a thing anymore!!  Even though we both already knew we had amazing support, the feedback we received in response to our story was completely overwhelming. I found it ironic that people called me "brave" and "strong."  (This is something I struggle with alot, the meaning of being brave and strong).  Really, we are just normal people going through some super tough things and learning how to handle it as we go along.

Anyways, rambling.  A huge tremendous overwhelming THANK YOU to everyone that read our story and commented and are keeping us in their thoughts and prayers and rooting for us this whole time and from here on out.  We are so so so so lucky to have the most wonderful people in our lives, that are cheering us on, and we are beyond grateful!

So where do we go from here?  Well, I met with our doctor about a month after our news.  It was tough being back in his office, and seeing all our nurses, and trying not to cry my eyes out.  Our doctor was so disappointed, like we were, especially since he said everything was "perfect."  I had such a heartfelt meeting with him that I appreciated so much!  Our doctor told me the reason for our fail was "implantation issues," and what that means right now, we are not sure.  We decided to undergo some testing before going through another process, to try and find this out.  This I also appreciate so much: having some answers or at least trying to find out some more information before wasting more time and money and emotions.  We took a break for the summer, just to be away from it all.  During this time, we (of course) had other things going on in our lives that were tough, but also grew as a couple even more.  It was so nice to pay attention to each other and our furries again without having to worry about anything fertility-related.  I started testing in August and we will most likely be going through another process sometime this fall.  We are excited and hopeful, but nervous and scared as well.  We don't want to think about what will be after that.  We just want to focus on getting through that and hopefully coming out with the best news possible.

We have learned so much from this experience so far.  Both about each other, our relationship, and ourselves.  I do not for one second regret the decision to be so open and transparent about our situation.  The best feeling in the whole wide world has been hearing a friend say that because of us and sharing our story, it has helped them share theirs (even if it's not to this big of an audience, but maybe just their loved ones).  This is all we've ever hoped for.  That people know that this really effing sucks and is very hard to go through, but you don't have to be in it alone, and there is absolutely no reason to be ashamed.  100%.

Thank you so much again for allowing me to share our story.  

xoxo always

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